This story broke my heart.
Reunions of adopted children and their birth parents are usually heartwarming moments in which tears flow and broken bonds are made whole in mere seconds.
At least that’s how it usually plays out on “Oprah.”
But that wasn’t the case last Dec. 13, when an Atlantic City woman came face to face with the daughter she placed for adoption 30 years ago after being raped.
This short reunion on the woman’s doorstep left her feeling “violated, in shock, and short of breath,” according to a lawsuit filed Thursday in U.S. District Court, in Camden, and she believes that a division of New Jersey’s Department of Children and Families helped set up the traumatic event.
“Everyone would like to believe that these reunions are so wonderful,” said attorney Matthew Weisberg. “This one wasn’t. They didn’t have coffee together. My client went pale. She is devastated and continues to be devastated because her biological child continues to attempt contact with her.”
read more
I can only imagine the pain that both the mother and the daughter are going thru, but I especially feel for the daughter. I imagine this woman (the daughter) has been pining away for years looking for her biological parents only to find out she was a product of violence and then be rejected by her biological mother.
Don’t get me wrong, the biological mother has every right to choose not to have contact with her biological daughter, yet I still can’t help but think how something good may have come from the two of them getting to know one another – in spite of the circumstances. I imagine the presence of her daughter may cause her to relive the horrible crime committed against her all those years ago.
Just sad.
In my opinion, it’s wrong for adoption agencies to unseal a sealed document.
I fully understand why an adopted person would want to find his/her real parent.
But this is what should happen.
The adoption agency should contact the parent [or offspring] and ASK them if they want their information given out and ASK them if they are interested in a potential reunion.
To just give out people’s information is awful. Some people truly have had bad memories. I saw a special on t.v. about bad reunions. One mother said that she honestly felt “nothing” when she was found by her son that she gave away after a rape and she did not want further contact.
Very sad.
So its OK for everyone else to know who their Bio family is, just not an adoptee, cause that might be the mothers privacy,
Dont forget the adoptee came out of the mothers privates and NEVER signed no documentation, that was all done on their behalf
W
Adoptee – I realize this is a complex issue, but everyone’s privacy rights must be considered and yes even the bio-parents. Life is unfair – believe me I know. I’m dealing with a very complex situation with my bio-father. These situations are not black and white, they are gray.